Life gets in the way. Things happen.
The other night, I started to have a pity party. Not a huge, mega, the world is ending pity party. More of a “I’m over this malarkey” kind of pity party.
Let me take a couple of steps back, and explain. Because a lot of things have been going on…
- My brother has issues with alcohol, and his marriage dissolved, which has created some drama.
- I was getting ready to start school to get my Master’s, and the day before class starts, it turns out that I really shouldn’t have been going down that path.
- My aunt disappeared from life, and refused to continue helping out my grandma.
- School (my job) started.
- Trying to figure out what God’s plan for my life actually is.
- Being compelled to keep telling my story.
There are probably more. But the main thing you need to take away is…many, many things have been going on. Things that compel me to be a sponsible redult. And I don’t always want to be a sponsible redult.
So the other night, I started having a pity party. I left for my walk (which was abbreviated, because I also had to mow my lawn). And I just didn’t want to be the girl with the bad back story. The one where I’m always and forever the girl that was abused. It’s a tough story to tell. So there I was, walking along. And all of a sudden, my heart hears “WHY SO SERIOUS?!?!?!?!”
I admit, amidst everything else that has been going on, having fun has taken a bit of a back burner.
I know that my writing recently hasn’t really shown this, but…I’m kind of a goof. Because, you can, in fact, be a goof AND a responsible adult at the same time.
So even though I’m still feeling the stress of everything else, the weight seems a little lighter today.
Which is an awesome thing.
I’m exhausted today, and have been all week. Plus, tomorrow is Friday the 13th AND an almost full moon. Which in the community of teachers is one of the absolute most terrifying things, ever. But last night started a new chapter. I have been a high school youth leader in the past. But between leaving a church, and being burnt out, I took a year off. But God has opened a wonderful door. And last night was our first session. And these kids are awesome. And I’m really excited about the new opportunity to work with these kiddos. Because even though I get to see them every day at school, there is a huge difference between the conversations Ms. Hooks gets to have with them compared to the conversations Johanna can have with them. And it’s just going to be awesome.
Ok, so I’m still not being a goof. I get that. So let me tell you what happened last night…before youth group started.
We have been doing a lot of functional things around the farm, to make things work better. Burying electric lines to the machine shed. Widening the entrance to the driveway, that ended up being a 6 month nightmare. And long story short, the farm is a complete disaster. But, we are finally making progress. So last night, the dad calls me and asks if I’m going to be home for a while, because a load of rock is getting delivered, and the guy wasn’t quite sure where he was supposed to dump the rock. Seriously, right next to my driveway is a huge area of dirt that has been cleared to widen the driveway. The dad told him that’s where the rock needed to be dumped. But the guy gets there, and I had to basically point to the exact spot where to dump it, because he just really wasn’t sure where it needed to go.
Lord love a duck.
I guess common sense just isn’t that common anymore.